Life in the Waite household hasn't been exactly... orthodox this year, though when is it? Due to the writers’ strike, we have been forced to use scab labor in the form of Alex with illustrations by David. So now it is they who must tell the tale of our inter-dimensional travels. It all started when Alex, David, and Barry were trying to connect the Wii and Xboxes to the wireless Internet router when suddenly a portal was created due to electromagnetic particles interacting with the fiber-optics in the computer- it's second grade stuff, so I don't need to explain. In short, the family was sucked into a different dimension full of cartoons casting magic, performing sorcery, and jumping, lots and lots of jumping.

The family was changed into cartoonish figures. Barry was transformed into a super politician with a three piece suit, Margie becoming an account-mutant covered in calculator tape and spreadsheets, David turning into a guitar-wielding maniac, and Alex a traveling bard complete with a one-man band set. All set off on their quests for the year in order to get out of the mystical land. Barry set out to acquire a new occupation seeing as exploring and map making were becoming rather boring. His new title consisted of getting different races of people from different factions of the land to come and settle in his home center of Carsonia. Along with his work, he continued as a chief elder for Lomitia. There he faced horrible monsters including the angry villagers with their glowing red eyes and snakes for hair. The valiant Barry fought off wave after wave of the evil armies only to lose a great battle to the forces of Southeast Torrance (the village idiots). But still he lived on in search of getting his way home. Margie continued her title of accountancy at Ye Olde Bristol Farms. All seemed to be going smoothly, until a spell-gone-wrong was cast on her sending her into constant head pain. The medicine man of the village she lived in could not find the cure or even the cause of this ailment, so she journeyed toward the city to find a doctor. After much investigation, the source of the problem was found; an ear infection to be exact. She came home to her village and declared to the people “It is not a tumor!”

Meanwhile, David was the big man on campus at the village school. His time at the dungeon/middle-school was coming to a close, and no one could blame him for being overjoyed. Of course, he continued to rock people's faces off with his almost mythical guitar playing. The “mini-Hendrix” was well on his way to getting his guitar achievements so that he could return home. After dredging his way through the dreaded swamps of Freshmen Year, Alex gained enough experience points to move up the next level to Sophomore. He completed his quest of becoming head of the clan of trombones in the San Pedro HS Marching Band and Guild. The guild did a “West Side Story” field show obtaining 1st in 2 of their competitions and 2nd in the LAUSD championships, which brought him so much closer to reopening the portal.







Along with the individual goals, family goals were distributed including attending Grandpa Hayes' 80th birthday where the family met with the rest of the Hayes' Clan and consumed much hearty fare and had an equally great time. The Waites had to revisit the Hayes abode for summer vacation to find the portal key, which it turned out was hanging inside the new tree house at the cabin, but between hanging out with cousins and other relatives and visiting the Space Needle and San Juan Islands, the family's time was well spent. The last of the major objectives was to attend the funeral of the great sage, Aunt Betty. She meant the world to everyone who knew her and she will be deeply missed. And so, after months and months of being trapped in the other dimension, the family returned to their normal home and lives only to find out that all of the events that occurred in this other world actually happened, except for the insane amount of jumping. As fun as the regular world is to the Waites, there is one thing they will miss from the other world: magic. But who is to say that their lives weren't magical to begin with?


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Last modified: 08/25/2020