It’s the annual Waite family Christmas letter. This year, we had some real excitement. Barry not only ran for city council here in Lomita, he actually won! While we’re not sure what that shows about the wisdom of Lomita’s voters, it does at least give us an idea for this letter. We’ll make it a ballot filled with propositions that describe our year. They’ll make just as much sense as our real California propositions. If you look on the other side of this page, you’ll find some pictures and other stuff. Remember, vote early and vote often. This year’s letter is dedicated to the memory of Norm Grainger. We miss you, Norm!

 

Proposition A – Shall the Waite family take another Mexican Riviera cruise, excluding certain non-minor family members prone to slumber deprivation disorders?

Translation: We went on a cruise that was mostly fun but Barry couldn’t sleep. Our room was incredibly small, but at least it was way too expensive. Alex’s “bed” was a slab that came down from the ceiling. David had a blast. Margie liked the food because she got to have as many mushrooms as she wanted without the rest of the clan complaining about having to eat the little fungi. We all loved Puerto Vallarta. We’ll stick with hotels.

Yes

 

No

 

Dramamine

Proposition B – Shall Dodson Middle School drop all pretense of education and be renamed “The Dodson Mental Abuse Facility?”

Translation: With David moving up to middle school, both boys are again in the same school. He now understands why Alex spent so much of his energy hoping for earthquakes or other natural disaster to close the place. Like his brother, David also took up the trombone. So which is louder, the trombone or electric guitars at our house? Being mostly deaf from the noise, we certainly can’t tell. In spite of the mental abuse, both boys are doing fine.

Yes

 

No

 

What?

Proposition C – Shall the Waite family get a puppy?

Translation: Margie often (loudly) mentions a desire to get a puppy to keep Monster company. The boys are non-committal on the subject, and Barry is horrified at the thought. The cats probably aren’t too keen on it either. The fish doesn’t care and is simply thrilled to still be alive in a house where non-mammals have lives shorter than an extra on Star Trek. Last year, she wanted a turtle, and the boys bought her a ceramic one. How about one of those ceramic Dalmatians they used to have on Wheel of Fortune?

No

 

No

 

No way (Barry’s suggestion)

Proposition D – Shall the Waite family purchase knee insurance?

Translation: On election night, Alex went to the park for picture night with his football team. He went out for a pass in the picnic area and ran into a bench. He missed the pass. After we waited up for the election results to see if Barry won, Alex announced his knee was really hurting. He went for x-rays the next morning. The technician told Barry, “You broke your knee cap, right? Like father, like son.” Luckily, Alex only cracked his knee cap, so he is recovering very quickly and using his crutches only when forced to by Margie. Other than that, both boys had a great football season. David has learned that tackling is sometimes easier than grabbing the opponent’s flags. Those pesky referees don’t always approve of this tactic. Imagine that.

Yes

 

No

 

Ouch!

Proposition E – Shall work weeks be limited to only 60 hours?

Translation: Guess what? Yup, Margie works too much. Since Bristol Farms promised her a forty hour week as accounting manager, she continued doing the books for a small government agency as a side job. Then along came the big bad parent company who decided to ignore all their advisers and change everything with lots of system conversions with “just get it done” overtime. Unpaid of course. Meanwhile, they cut the deadline each month to close the books, but at least they have less people to do it with. Uh oh.

Yes

 

Definitely

 

You were surprised?

Proposition F – Shall the Waite family manage to get together with friends and family more this year?
Translation: As often happens, our good intentions to visit more get lost in absurdly busy schedules. Still, we’ve been doing a little better and will do out best to keep it up. Even if we don’t see you sometime soon, know that you’re tops in our book or we wouldn’t have you on our Christmas card list! Drop off this ballot in person, and we’ll give you an “I voted” sticker, Waite for Council brochures and post-it pads. Hey, we still have yard signs too. How many would you like? Please take one. Or ten.

Yes

 

No

 

What Waite family?

 

As always, call or write us when you can. We’re still at

25041 Feijoa Ave.

Lomita, CA 90717

(310) 325-6389

waite@earthlink.net

http://home.earthlink.net/~waite

or www.barrywaite.org

(Barry’s campaign web site)